Working in forex puts you in some strange positions. I’ve sat next to Arbeloa at dinner in a Munich beer hall, had a lord make me a Nespresso, and met the Economic Minister of Vanuatu.
But wandering through Windsor Castle alone, looking at Rubens paintings, and drinking Champagne in a tuxedo was potentially the coolest experiences I’ve had so far.
The big occasion was thanks to ATFX, who sponsor a golf tournament called the Duke of Edinburgh Cup. I have played golf once in my life – at a stag do driving range – so I can’t explain what happens here but I believe a bunch of bigwigs from around the world walk around a large grassy area with steel clubs and raise money for charity in the process.
Whatever the case, I arrived at the castle before almost everyone else. There were a couple of blacked out Land Rovers, a Porsche, a Jaguar, and me – in a Hyundai i10. Many people after said I was the belle of the ball in that car.
You have to hand in your phone and jacket before you go into the castle properly. This was a clever move on the organisers part as otherwise the whole event would have descended into a big tiktok fest, filled to the brim with selfies and filtered social media photos. It also made me feel a bit like a junkie for my phone – you’re always patting your jacket to feel for something that isn’t there.
After getting in, I walked through several different rooms and kept expecting to find other people, who ended up not being there. Finally I arrived in a large hall where champagne was being served. I took a glass and headed back into one of the other rooms, which was plastered with paintings by the Dutch Masters.
There is something surreal about standing alone in a castle your monarch occasionally lives in, drinking Moet, and looking at 17th century artworks. How did this happen? Why am I here? Will I crash my Hyundai i10 on the way home if I keep drinking? These are the sorts of questions that go through your head when this happens.
I kept walking around and then came to another room that was encircled by glass cabinets filled with old armaments. There were old rifles, those old sets of armour that make people from the Middle Ages look like manlets, and then a small bullet in a box tucked away in a corner of one cabinet.
Except it wasn’t just a bullet. It was the bullet that killed Nelson. You would think it would be given pride of place somewhere and adorned with gold plating. Instead it’s at the bottom of a cabinet in a room in Windsor Castle.
After everyone else arrived I went back to the champagne room and stood around talking to the founder of one large broker and the team at Finance Magnates. We met the king’s brother – the good one, not the Pizza Express one – and then headed into dinner.
Our table consisted of the ATFX Jordan CEO and some of his sales team, an ATFX client with his wife, the Finance Magnates team, and old Kimbers. ATFX’s latest hire, Line Ho Young Peteri, was also there and great company.
The meal was another one of those surreal moments, where you look around and wonder what the various steps were that you took in life to end up at that moment. This was only made more pronounced when between meals they had opera singers come up on stage and belt out some songs. If I was sophisticated I could tell you what they sang. Alas, I am not, so I can’t.
We all left sharpish once the meal was over. One interesting factoid I learnt along the way is that there is a total ban on smoking in the castle. Apparently this is because of a fire that took place there in 1992. Thus the only disappointing part of the evening was not being able to steal a cigarette from someone else.
Back outside it was a warm evening for me and a cold evening for the Jordanians, who also began snapping pictures as soon as they got their phones back. The team had been given a tour of London earlier in the day.
“So London sucks, eh?” I said to them. “Bet you’ll be looking forward to flying back to Amman as soon as possible?”
“No,” one of them said. “It’s amazing.”
I guess she had too much champagne.
